Hawaiian Bar-B-Que: Minimalist in a lot of respects

In my frenzied quest to find the best restaurant deals, I ironically got suckered into the most awful dining experiences I’ve ever had these last few weeks. The latest of these cases was my visit to Hawaiian Bar-B-Que, which was where I found myself after my frustrations with the neglectful service at Gerry’s Grill.

It was a terrible evening. At around 10:30 pm, my family was exhausted. My kids were being restless. My mother-in-law was trying hard to hide her irritation as she had always been puzzled why I avoid such sure-but-mediocre choices as McDonalds or Jollibee. To address this predicament, I told them to just wait for me at the Esplanade playground behind Mall of Asia as I scout around in the area for another promising eatery.

What caught my attention was this tarpaulin announcing a barbecue platter inclusive of 4 beers for only P499 (that’s P500 to you morons) that was being offered by Hawaiian Bar-B-Que. I asked the waiter if such platter could feed a party of 3 adults, 2 kids, and a cynical mother-in-law. He supposed it would since he observed that we did not appear to be a gluttonous lot.

That should have tipped me off. Against my better judgment (and in lieu of our hunger pangs) I seated my family in the resto and ordered the said platter, plus their spinach fare, the veggie being my allegedly health-conscious mum-in-law’s favorite.

The food was not bad. There was this prevailing sweetness reminiscent of pineapple that may have come from a common marinade formula for all their barbecues. But the servings were terribly diminutive. The portions of pork, chicken and squid were about the same size as my middle finger. Then there was mussel meat alternately impaled with pineapple chunks on a stick (what?), and I know how cheap mussels cost. Finally, the presence of hotdog and corn cobs filling almost half of the barbecue platter screams to you that you have just been conned.

The spinach side dish, which cost almost P200, was ridiculously small for its price. The serving was just enough to fill up a saucer. I made it a point to merely taste it as the quantity may not be enough even for my mum-in-law who has always been a notoriously moderate eater.

Hawaiian Bar-B-Que must be proud of the sauce that they serve with the platter. Possessing that distinctive pineapple taste, it enabled me to stretch the viands to complement the additional rice that I had to order.

Maybe it was the lateness of the night, but Hawaiian Bar-B-Que had only one waiter serving around 3 tables. This was okay because the clientele then, especially us, were not the rowdy type. The interior was minimalist, extremely neat, which was quite inappropriate for a Hawaiian barbecue joint. Of course, we sat outside before the seawall, which was dreadfully high for us to enjoy the evening serenity of the bay.

For this I had to pay almost P800; again the Restaurant and Hotel Billing Phenomenon wherein you get charged more than what you have computed, despite all your allowances and your mum-in-law’s senior citizen’s card. And the coup de grace: they did not accept credit cards! ‘Nuff said.